


Enough

by BriellaBleu



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 20:43:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9090019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BriellaBleu/pseuds/BriellaBleu
Summary: Barry spends a few moments by Iris' bed side after she's hurt in Fast Lane.





	

“I’m sorry…”

Barry whispered the words softly against the back of Iris’ hand as he held it to his lips. He watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest as she slept and it should have calmed him, but it didn’t. 

He wasn’t fast enough.

He replayed the events of the car crash over and over in his head. He could still see the piece of glass hurtling towards Iris, just outside of his reach. He could still remember the look of shock on her face as she went down. 

He rubbed his free hand roughly over his face to brush away the tears threatening to fall. He could still feel the spot on his chest where Iris had grabbed at his suit as her face twisted with pain. He could still hear her cooing quietly to him, “it’s okay, I’m going to be okay,” even as her body trembled violently from the shock of her ordeal. 

Now she was resting. She had always been sensitive when it came any type of pain medicine so it was no surprise that a single pain pill was enough to knock her out completely. Barry was grateful for it because the idea of Iris feeling any pain was enough to have his insides twisted into painful knots. 

He traced the back of her hand carefully and he shivered slightly at the hints of electricity that he felt–almost like static shock. In a way it surprised him that it was still there. After everything they had been through, after everything that he caused he expected, no, dreaded that their connection would be gone. But it was still there, not as strong, but it was still there. 

He remembered the pain he felt when Zoom dragged him through Central City and used him as his own personal rag doll. He would go through that agonizing pain and humiliation a thousand times over if it meant that Iris didn’t have to feel one second of pain. 

Again, the image of the glass impaling her flitted across his mind causing him to flinch. He knew that this accident would be the thing that played on an endless loop in his nightmares. 

He wasn’t fast enough and it made no sense. Physically he felt fine but maybe Cisco was right and there was something going on. He couldn’t protect her from a damn piece of glass, what would happen if Zoom came after her?

Frustration welled inside Barry as the feeling of inadequacy burned in his gut like acid. Losing someone he loved was terrifying but losing Iris–it would surely end him. He knew it just as certain as he knew the sun would rise tomorrow. 

The unwanted memory of Iris crying over Eddie’s still body as Barry watched helplessly from the side slammed into his brain like a ton of bricks. He hadn’t been able to save her then, and he hadn’t be able to save her now. He felt like the worst kind of failure. What kind of superhero was he really if he couldn’t save the people he loved the most?

“I’m sorry…I’m so, so sorry.” He whispered again as tears started to trek unchecked down his face, “I’m sorry for everything." 

For Eddie. For your mother. For not being there for you. For loving you too much. For not loving you enough. 

The words hung on the tip of Barry’s tongue but he couldn’t verbalize them. He was afraid she wouldn’t hear them in her medicated state but he was even more afraid that she would and hate him for it. 

"How is she?" 

Barry jumped slightly at the interruption. He turned to see Joe entering the room and looking at Iris’ prone body with a panicked gleam in his eyes.

"She’s fine.” Barry said gruffly before clearing the remnants of the tears from his throat. “She’s fine,” he repeated, “The doctor said she was lucky and it was only a superficial laceration to her shoulder. If it had been a few more inches to the left…” The words trailed off because he couldn’t say the words out loud. 

“Why is she out then?” Joe asked, still clearly not convince that all was well with his baby girl. 

“They gave her some pain medicine.” Barry answered with a slight smile, “She can barely take a Benadryl without being sleep within minutes so I’m sure that one tiny pain pill they gave her will have her out for a few days." 

"Okay.” Joe answered with a relieved sigh before turning his attention to Barry. “What the hell happened tonight?" 

Barry winced slightly at the question even though there was no censure in Joe’s tone. 

"I don’t know…I tried, I swear to God I tried with everything I had in me but I wasn’t fast enough. I would do anything in the world to keep Iris from being hurt–”

“I know, ” Joe interrupted, “I’m not blaming you, Barry." 

"You don’t have to.” Barry answered gravely, “I blame myself enough for the both of us.” He looked regretfully at Iris before saying, “I gotta go, Joe." 

"What? Barry, you can’t leave. What if she wakes up? She’ll want to see you." 

"I know, I’ll be back as soon as I can. But I have to go to S.T.A.R Labs, something isn’t right with me. I…I don’t know what it is, but Iris shouldn’t be lying in that bed right now. I should have been able to save her with no problem. That glass should have never gotten anywhere near her.”

“Accidents happen-”

“That wasn’t an accident!” Barry yelled, "I should have gotten to her. Something is wrong and I can’t–“

"Barry…”

“If something happens to her it will kill me.” Barry answered thickly as he tugged his hands through his hair. “I have to be enough to save her." 

"You are.” Joe answered reassuringly but it did nothing to make Barry feel better. He walked back to Iris’s bedside and stared down at her sleeping face before leaning down slightly. He supported his right hand against the headboard as he used his left hand smooth away the curling tendrils from her forehead. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered quietly as his knuckle slid lightly down her cheek, “I promise I’ll never let anyone or anything hurt you again." 

He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead before resting his own against hers for just a second. He gave her one last long look before turning away to face Joe.

"Let me know when she’s awake, okay?" 

"Yeah…” Joe said as he looked at Barry with an unreadable look on his face. “I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.”

“I will.” Barry said determinedly and a second later he was gone. 

Joe watched the flash of lightening as is streaked down the street outside of the hospital but his attention was quickly diverted from that when he heard a timid and groggy voice coming from the bed. 

“Barry?”


End file.
